Listening to erykah… candles lit… champagne bottle half empty.. i raise my glass to Mr James Yancey aka Jay Dee aka J.Dilla aka King of Beats.
I reminisce… I moarn… I celebrate his life..
Its been 4 years and it still feels like the first time i found out about his death.. and even more than that.. found out about his life.. he touched me in a way that no other artist has. His work still influences me and my steps, my friendships, my taste in music, my career. He`s with me.. feels like he always is.
His name a brand name for good music.. whenever i meet new ppl and i wanna know about their music taste i ask one question: „Do you know J.Dilla?“… Depending on their answer i`ll know if we`re on the same page as far as music goes…
4 years is a long time. alot has happened within those 4 years. pretty much why whole life as i knew it has changed. Except for this feeling… this hole that could not be filled over the years and never will be. I listen to his music every day and my soul and mind longs for more..more beats.. more rhymes.. and nobody can give them to me the same way he could. No one carries the same creativity, the same diversity, the same love for hip hop.
I have been noticing that the hype that i saw rising after his death has slowed down. I see less ppl rockin dilla shirts, hear less ppl talk about him. I cant ever see that happening to myself. I still rock a dilla tee every show i go to, i say his name whenever a conversation about hip hop occurs.
he`s the man.. and he really didnt get half the attention he deserved while he was alive… well, i think he probably wouldnt have wanted the attention anyway… he just wanted to make music….
and thats how i relate to him personally. Thats how he inspires me to follow my dream. I want nothing else but to be with music and he loved music on the same level, i feel less alone knowing that. People like us are rare and i never met one until i learned about him, it made me feel less of an outkast, or like something was wrong with me.
Although we never met i miss him like a close friend because he speaks to me through his music, through his beats, these beats that are made of love and passion and knowledge. I miss him truly and i cant ever see myself stop missing him. I cant see myself stop listening to him.
Listening to „Donuts“ an album he made shortly before his death, KNOWING he would die, a goodbye letter, an ode to hip hop and to life. I`ve watched the Frank N Dank European Vacation dvd quite a few times lately, and seeing the strength he had in his mind to be on that stage in a wheelchair, strength in his mind although his physical strength left him.. Because thats how much he loved hip hop. God, that is amazing to me, and so inspiring to me in everything i do..
I love you J.Dilla, I thank you deeply for what you`ve done for me without even knowing it… I wish you were still here with us but i know in my heart that you are up there makin music with the greats .. until we finally meet… i miss you
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